And yes, that' was to be expected. Everyone warned me about Wiki, how I needed to be prepared for long lulls in activities and lots of free time. I think, with the exception of the first week when felt genuinely bored -and was borderline depressive because of the boredom!- I've been managing pretty well with small projects for Doug and for myself, while still exposing myself as much as possible to native culture and spirituality.
However, in the back of my head, even this mild effort that I was making to 'fit in' was bugging me. It wasn't enough. I knew there was stuff I could do at the nursing home and at the school, and that I could do this on a more regular basis. Volunteering in that sense is kinda like jogging for me. I never 'feel' like doing it, but once I'm out there, boy oh boy do I get a rush out of the experience. Of course, there are -and will be- challenges behind this. I can't just walk into the nursing home and expect there to be work for me to do (same thing with the school!). Or can I!?
See, as much as I've matured in the way I integrate myself into new environments, there are still some residues of that old way of thinking : "I'm here to help the community with my wonderful skills and they should put me to work in order to benefit from my awesome presence". I don't like thinking that way, but it's part of my baggage. The proof? When I go into the nursing home, I look forward to get my hands dirty and help out with the heavy duty stuff that nobody else wants to do...but really, all they want from their volunteers are people who can walk around the halls, and visit with the residents. Part of me doesn't see much value in this task (maybe I'm not getting my hands dirty enough!!) but this is such a powerful ministry. And in the end...maybe I'm the one that's being ministered to by the residents and the staff!
What wonderful words of wisdom that are perhaps sometimes easy to forget!
The journey continues!
Kids during a physical activity day! My BFFs Bernadette
and Summer are in that group somewhere!
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